Aussie Rules - A Clichéd Game? | Thebigtip

When did the football vernacular change? If you have a moment, watch some footage from the 80s, 90s and even mid way through the 2000s, and pay attention to the style of commentary and the terms used to portray the action.

The way a game is currently described now is merely a collection of clichés, borrowed mainly from American sports, with a hint of describers being rented from a collection of other pass times, terms that would not have been uttered 15 years ago.

Next time you sit down to watch a game, especially if you are not betting nor have a Dream Team or Supercoach interest, play a good old fashioned game of “Cliché”.  Like Justin Bieber, this game is set to take the world by storm….well, perhaps it won’t, but it may be a one hit wonder like Warrant’s Cherry Pie, surely the year 1990’s best song! Although, there were some huge tracks that year by some very successful artists, Skid Row, Bel Biv Devoe, Snap, Bad English, Black Box, need I go on. Yer, why not…Milli Vanilli, New Kids on the Block, After 7, Maxi Priest. But none had the “one hit wonderness” of Warrant with Cherry Pie, how is this for some all time great lyrics to start a song;

Swingin' on the front porch
Swingin' on the lawn
Swingin' where we want
'Cause there ain't nobody home

It must be stated for the record that Poison’s Unskinny Bop, may have lost on a points decision to Cherry Pie…or has it.

Ooh what's got you so jumpy?
And why can't you sit still, yeah?
Like gasoline you wanna pump me
Oh then leave me when you get your fill, yeah

This one has gone to triple overtime! Simply Brilliant. Hang on…what was I on about? Ah yes, the football cliché and its use and overuse in modern day football.


6 points – The Press

Basically the Press is defensive pressure with all the trimmings, the super supreme pizza of forwards being the first line of defence (which is another cliché, the opposite of the best form of defence is attack, tick, another one!). The Press includes large elements of zone defence in the 'second line' which is set up behind those pressuring on 'the front line'. The aim of the press is to (lock the ball in) to a forward 50 by placing an inordinate amount of pressure on back-men, providing limited options up-field and disabling the defender from using the 'get out kick'.

As we can see, the Press is one of the best clichés commentators can use because it fathers a number of other clichés, which can be subsequently stated following the use of 'the Press' as I have demonstrated here.  It has been reported that dangerous, if not inconsistent Crows forward Taylor Walker, was dropped to Norwood because of his lack of defensive pressure...I wonder how many tackles Tony Locket, Gary Ablett Snr and Jason Dunstall had in their career. No, I am not comparing Walker with three of the greatest forwards in the history of the game, I am not an idiot, I am merely stating that forward line pressure has had increased focus in recent times as has the relevance of the small forward who creates much of this pressure and most importantly created excellent opportunities where our TV analysts can back the cliché juggernaut out of the garage and hammer the point home!


5 points – Contested Footy

When last I checked Aussie Rules Football is a contact sport, a sport with more contact than almost any other involving a ball. The term ‘contested footy’ was coined shortly after the game briefly morphed into a form of netball. Whilst the finger cant be pointed squarely at one coach, (although Terry Wallace may have a fair bit to do with it) where kicking to a contest became sacrilegious, fearful that the ball would become a disputed situation, a ‘50-50’ or each way bet so to speak, where the better, craftier, stronger player would win out.

Thankfully, the last season and a half of football has transformed back into a game where kicking to a contest is once again trendy. However, take note of the amount of times the term, contested footy is used. The main culprits of this are the assistant coaches being asked a question by the boundary rider at a break between quarters, “yer, we just have to win some contested footy”. Really? Of course you do!

This term wasn’t around in the 90s where nearly every play was a contested one, where there wasn’t a need to breakdown Wayne Carey’s marks, as most of them were contested (and more evidence supporting the Duck as the best player I have seen in the last 25 years.)


4 points – The Corridor

When Curtly Ambrose was at his menacing best, he was one of the greatest of his era (possibly in history) at bowling ‘in the corridor of uncertainty’, where the batsmen did not know whether to go forward or back, to leave it or play at it. The corridor, used in an AFL setting is what was once referred to as ‘straight up the guts’.  Generally heard in games where the best teams are playing or those that are improving (I refer to Geelong in its run of 3 Grand Final appearances and to an extent, Richmond in 2011).

The ‘corridor’ is the shortest distance from goal line to goal line. Doesn’t every team want to use the corridor? Please don’t confuse this with every team having the skills to pull this off, as Roy and HG would describe it, Route 1.  A turnover in the middle of the ground can be costly. Therefore, there is a need to separate, wanting to use the corridor and having the skills by hand and foot to play this game style.


3 points - Knows where the Goals Are (closely related to ‘Likes Kicking a Goal’)

Often reserved for the crafty forward or goal kicking midfielder, ‘knows where the goals are’ infers that the goals move throughout a game of football. The last time I recall this happening was in a school game, where the goal square at the southern end of Kidman Park Primary, looked like Morabbin in the middle of an 80s winter, and portable goals were erected away from the muddy goal square, but technically, this was before the game had commenced.

The close relation to the above is ‘Enjoys Kicking a Goal’, is generally the first thing a commentator says when a backmen (or a player that over celebrates i.e Justin Sherman) puts one through.

Is there a player currently running aroun that doesn’t like kicking a goal. When was the last time you saw a player, of any position, slot one through and then proceed to yell at the umpire, take a swipe at his players or kick or punch the ground (reminds me of the most famous punching of the ground, Rohan Smith in the 1997 Prelim Final vs the Crows.)


2 points - Tempo Football

By definition ‘tempo’ means the rate of speed or motion of an activity, yet why, when used in the context of the AFL is it only done when a team is trying to slow down play, either to stop a run on or to protect a lead? It appears only the very best teams can use ‘Tempo Football’ to speed up a game style, both Collingwood and Geelong have adopted it recently and piled on goals by seemingly flicking a switch.


1 point - Pays the Ultimate Price (closely related to the Turnover)

When was the last time you saw a player turn the ball over and pay the ultimate price? Paying the ultimate price means to die because something you have done, especially for moral reasons, does this make any sense in footy. No.

The term turnover is arguably the most important statistic in American Football and has been used in the NFL since Sanford and Son was on television. Analysing data from the NFL will indicate the success of a team. Take the 2010 season, the New England Patriots turnover differential (TO) was the best in the league during the regular season. In their losing play off game vs the New York Jets, their TO was well below the Patriots season average, and was a key reason which lead to their demise (and the defensive schemes Rex Ryan ran on the day, which caused a number of these turnovers.) In the NBA, turning the ball over in the last 4 minutes of a close game will more often than not determine the result of the game, protecting the rock is crucial to winning.

The term, “Paying the Ultimate Price” is commonly used in our game, when a defender kicks across the ground and the intercepting player kicks a goal. Whilst serious, it’s not really death is it. Whilst a coach may want to commit a homicide on the offending player, it would be very uncommon for him to go through with these thoughts of murder.

Given my Dream Team form, and my betting bank roll awaiting the results of the NBA Finals (Heat in 6) and Stanley Cup (Canucks in 7), I for one will be playing ‘Clash of the Cliché’ this coming round.

I wonder what the handicappers will bring out the over/under at!