The Hottest Footy Questions Going Around | Thebigtip

Craigy, finally... this is like when Omar was clipped on The Wire; we all knew it was going to happen, we just didn’t know when. Craigy and Triggy have also broken the previously held world record of “clichés used by a coach and football department prior to and during a resignation”. The record was previously held by Plough Wallace and Greg Miller at Richmond.

How strange did Neil Craig look wearing a school tie at his press conference? Something just didn’t look right, like Tara Reid’s boob job; you know she had one done, but you just couldn’t see how it added any value to her.

What’s the over/under on the number of coach’s names that will be thrown up to replace tie-wearing Neil Craig? I have it at 13.5... So far, we have had, the Caretaker, West Coast’s entire coaching box (excluding Woosha), Simon Goodwin, Rocket Eade and Mark Neeld. I have very little doubt others from the Bombers' Dream Team enter the discussion  (sit down Dean Wallis, I didn’t mean you!). The cast that will audition before the Crows board, with their Powerpoint presentations, football philosophies and strategy, will be enormous as the Adelaide Football Club will do the “due diligence” in the next appointment of their coach to “take the club forward”.

What I look forward to most are the media reports that will follow each interview especially the old favourite “he presented very well”. This is actually my second favourite most clichéd statement used by a football department. The first being, immediately post AFL Draft, how happy every team is what they were able to select, how teams were very surprised ‘player x’ was still on the board and how fit their players have come back to training after the mandatory 6 week break.

Has Dale Thomas (Jay from In-Betweeners) become the best player in the history of the game that looks least like a footballer? Read that again and read it carefully! On appearance alone, Thomas rocks some spaghetti arms and legs and would look more comfortable at a skate park, doing some ‘sick’ tricks (or getting his skate on riding his Element deck). Instead, he has potentially become Collingwood’s best player, arguably surpassing Pendlebury and Swan and knocking on the door of being one of the very best in the game currently.

When will the Rules Committee introduce a rule that makes the game better and not worse? Here is a better idea how about in 2012, introduce NO new rules. Yes, that’s right, NO new rules, and instead fix the advantage rule and holding the ball rule, currently the two worst rules in the game. However, rules changes at season's end are as inevitable as seeing a German tourist wearing thongs and socks.  

Which young player would you most want in your team: Dustin Martin, Nate Fyfe, Zach Smith, Dyson Heppel or Jack Redden? I guess that’s like asking who would you rather sleep with: Beyonce, J-Lo, or Charlize Theron! It may just be me, but are young talented players having a greater impact on their team success earlier in their careers than ever before? Perhaps its just feels like that.  

Has Sam Newman, Dermott Brereton or Megan Fox had more work done over the last 2 years? Their faces have gone through more reconstructions than the Coliseum or Tony Hall’s knee.

Mark Williams retired. My first thought was who? Was it the guy that sung the 1990 hit “Show No Mercy”, that was the backing tracking for a number of SANFL football highlights around that time? He hasn’t had a song for ages! Then I realized it was former Hawk and Bomber, Mark Williams. A stellar career at Windy Hill, Mark! Ironically, Williams came to the Bombers with the pick Essendon gained from trading Andrew Lovett to the Saints. This surely goes into the basket of “Top 5 Pointless Trades”, number one on the list - Brett Chalmers for Ian Downsborough involving the two Adelaide teams.

Who has had more head injuries: Jonathon Brown or former WWE wrestler Mick Foley (aka Mankind)? I could see JB in a hardcore match up taking on Mankind, for the Intercontinental Title. The belt would resemble a neck brace. For the record, Ricky 'the Dragon' Steamboat was my favourite Intercontinental title-holder, closely followed by Mr Wonderful, Paul Orndorff.

Dear Dream Team organisers. Next year, assuming the sub rule is with us still, how about this for an outrageous suggestion; if your player gets subbed, you get the total points that the red and green council vested players tallied? While on the topic, any chance you may be able to give the players tracksuit tops to wear (in green and red) instead of those pathetic little vests?

And finally, THE NFL IS BACK! Whoops, not AFL related, but I am as excited as a seagull outside a fish and chip shop.