The Pulse Round 20: Vote One for the Pants Party | Thebigtip

The Pulse Round 20: Vote One for the Pants Party   

Now that is silly. Another silly thing was when Mark Williams got the Port Adelaide team not to sing their themesongs after a win. Essendon recruiting Allan, Murphy and Camporeale was also silly. But Demetriou took the cake this week with his 2 cents regarding the Cousins doco.

Sometimes it is also silly to leap to conclusions. I read an article on this fine website after round one by a Melbourne supporter who crapped all over his own club. In retrospect, this was the most exciting Melbourne Demons season for many a year.

However I have been guilty of jumping to conclusions as well. For instance, in The Wonder Years, I always wondered why Kevin Arnold did not go for Becky Slater instead of Winnie Cooper. Now that I see the adult Winnie Cooper is a triple threat "Model, author, mathematican", I am glad to see the error of my ways.

1    Collingwood    = (1)    A double rainbow performance by the Flagpies. I like talking about the Magpies chances to win the flag this year in order to jinx them. They are raging favorites. Would have to do a Herschel eGibbs to lose from here.

2    Geelong    + (3)    Triple rainbow performance. Used to be that Billy Brownless needed to be the king of Geelong to beat Footscray on a Saturday night at the G.

3    Western Bulldogs    - (2)    “How Embarrassment” as Effie would say. I have not seen so many dogs slaughtered since Joey Chestnut took the Coney Island crown.

4    Sydney    + (7)    Sterling performance. Reminds me of the Faith No More song "From Out Of Nowhere". Going to be a tough team to face in the finals. Get on them.

5    St Kilda    = (5)    OK - great team-building win, but still a bit too "flat-track bullyish" to make me think they are a chance in September.

6    Hawthorn    + (8)    The Jeff Kennett spray had the right effect. He then cut spending on education and health-care and built a gambling facility. Back to his best form.

7    Carlton    + (9)    The Stephen Kernahan spray was more directed at the owners of Naughton's. Sticks was gutted as this was the site of his greatest off-field moment.

8    Melbourne    - (4)    Mammoth over-achievers - like Hawthorn in 2008 but much more likeable.

9    Fremantle    - (6)    Momentum is a 3 syllable word. Pronunciation /moÊŠmÉ›ntÉ™m/ . The impetus, either of a body in motion, or of an idea or course of events.  In this case…. downwards.

10    North Melbourne    = (10)    The travelling kangaroos are probably right where they should be. Which is somewhere in transit between their next home turf of Canberra, Hobart or French Island.

11    Adelaide    + (12)    Nathan Bock saw the light and decided to leave the sinking ship. Are these guys  lemmings or something?

12    Richmond    - (11)    It is rare when a team loses by 89 points and you still think they were lucky to be so close.

13    Port Adelaide    = (13)    "It was an ugly day, an ugly night weather wise and I can understand why some people wouldn't have come to the game" - Matthew Primus. "Thanks…. No really….." - The Port Adelaide marketing manager.

14    Brisbane    = (14)    They have hired a consultant to fix some of the problems. Unreal. Strap yourselves in for one million snazzy power-point slides, new acronyms, and a final conclusion that ends with "5 year plan".

15    West Coast    + (16)    Remember the Worlds Biggest Showbag from the Melbourne Show. I used to get fooled by the exterior each year, but eventually you see that there is a whole lot of crap inside.

16    Essendon    - (15)    It was the "Belt-Up" campaign. Not the "Get-Belted" campaign.

KING FOR A DAY:

Shane Mumford        A real thug ruckman that demolished the Dockers on the weekend. He went in head first - Pete Rose style.

FOOL FOR A LIFETIME:

Liam Picken        Thug, but in the pesky annoying kind of Paul Williams way.