The 15 Stooges | Thebigtip

On Saturday the Cheetahs recorded their first overseas victory in 14 years, a 23-3 defeat of the woeful Waratahs in Sydney.

Predictions were for a Cheetahs mauling, but the Tahs explored levels of ineptitude that left one incredulous. A South African commentator mentioned in one report “If they were the Pakistan cricket side the bookies would have called off all bets before the final quarter, so unbelievable were the mistakes they were making.”

Some credit has to go to the Cheetahs. They defended well – Heinrich Brüssow immense at the breakdown – and the effort it takes to hit the ground running after a long flight and minimal preparation time mustn’t be underestimated. But the result can almost be entirely attributed to the Tahs’ diabolical showing. If they have any ambitions of making the play-offs they’ll have to improve exponentially on this performance.

Creating scoring opportunities wasn’t the problem, but they seriously undermined their cause by not protecting the ball in the collisions, making fundamental handling errors and taking poor options in promising positions.

Their set pieces were ordinary, with the lineout particularly awful – hooker John Ulugia feeding with the accuracy of a tanked up darts player. This robbed them of two good attacking platforms, and, given their impotence in open play, the Tahs’ coaching staff and their supporters didn’t have reason for optimism.

We’ve seen it before, mediocre teams – and the Cheetahs are as mediocre as you get – dragging superior opponents down to their level and therefore staying competitive. The Tahs fell for the ruse, playing loose initially when they should have been smashing the Cheetahs up the middle and then unleashing their back division on a depleted defensive line. They ended up playing a hybrid of the two approaches and a high school team in the lower grades would have fancied their chances of repelling them.

So poor, so utterly rubbish were the Tahs that their first and only points, a penalty, came in the 30th minute. That after they had completely dominated possession. The Cheetahs didn’t do anything exceptional to lead 6-3 at half-time, simply capitalising on the Tahs’ ill-discipline at the breakdown, and Sias Ebersohn extended that lead by three just after the break.

Pat McCutcheon butchered the Tahs’ best scoring opportunity of the match, spilling a pass that if he had held on to would have left him with a clear run in on goal. There were audible whoops from the visitors, who sensed they were up against a team in charitable mood.

That generosity was gratefully accepted in the 60th minute when Berrick Barnes’ cross-kick was plucked out of the air by Riaan Viljoen, and the fullback simply drew the sole defender and put Phillip Snyman away. Sarel Pretorius encountered little opposition en route to crawling to the tryline late in the piece to cap an unexpected but deserved victory.

Turner said there wasn't much said in the sombre dressing room after the game.

"I think everyone was struggling to find the words to say. I have no doubt we will come back on Monday and there will be a pretty tough and honest and brutal team meeting," he said

Turner said it was like there were 15 players out on the field who were on a different page and couldn't string anything together.

Veteran Waratahs prop Al Baxter had never been booed before and said the reaction of the crowd was fair enough.

"They paid money to come and watch a good game and we didn't give them a good game," he said.

The Tahs got what they deserved, loud boos from supporters who should be reimbursed.